Shortly after Ellie’s passing, one of the verses that stood out to me was 1 Corinthians 13:13. Today, I will step a verse back to share 1 Corinthians 13: 12 – 13

12 For now we see only a reflection as in a mirror; then we shall see face to face. Now I know in part; then I shall know fully, even as I am fully known. 13 And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love.

THESE 3 REMAIN. Faith, Hope, Love. The greatest is Love

THESE 3 REMAIN. Trevor, Reese, and Kathryn

Recently, I added THESE 3 REMAIN. Bill, Kathryn and I. Since the boys are older, it is most often the 3 of us together.

THESE 3 REMAIN. Father, Son, Holy Spirit

THESE 3 REMAIN.

As I wrote this, I journaled it. So, much of the rest will be in pictures of my journal.

I am sure some of you are thinking as you read that, “How can she say she is ready to die when she has 3 remaining children here!? Friends, family, coworkers, students to teach.” Trust me, there was a lot of guilt I felt as I thought those thoughts. How could I be ok leaving my other 3 children and giving up on all those other opportunities in life. All those beautiful milestones I would miss out on. There is no good answer to that. Your mind does some wicked things in the midst of intense grief. There just is no good answer…Just like there is no good answer to how a parent decides how to navigate life with 1 child in Heaven, and the other 3 walking here on Earth. Talk about a heart being torn apart.

Heaven. Hell on Earth. Because when we think about the contrast between Heaven and living on Earth with sin, it is in some ways like living in Hell. One thing that just occurredto me though is that one distinct difference is that on Earth, Hope remains. It Hell, it cannot.

…if we are still here on Earth, there is someone here for us to impact.

While I still couldn’t fully worship God in church today, I felt His presence. I believe that those worshipping around me were doing so at time that I was unable to, and in a way that I could not.

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